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Thursday, 2 July 2026

An Unhappy Clergyman's Wife, Augusta Whittington, Mrs Henry Raikes 1820

 



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Here dearest Henry I am utterly at a loss to conceive your meaning 

I have just read a fourteen-page Wikipedia entry for a clergyman I had never heard of; it boasts 117 footnotes and tells me that Henry Raikes (1782-1854) became a powerful figure in the Diocese of Chester involved in many evangelical organisations including the Liverpool Auxiliary Society for Promoting Christianity Amongst the Jews, the Lancashire Society for Promoting the Due Observance of the Lord’s Day, and the Church Missionary Society. He was also involved in the work of Chester’s Female Penitentiary, the Female House of Refuge, the Ragged School Society, the Mendicity Society, and more besides.

From inheritance, his marriage settlement, and the considerable emoluments of high office in the Church of England he died a wealthy man. But it was subscribers who paid the stonemasons to erect an elaborate chest tomb and canopy over his grave; it’s still there though knocked about a bit. The National Gallery will sell you a reproduction of a steel engraving of the Chancellor of Chester; Amazon offers a print on demand copy of his Remarks on Clerical Education (1831). Such is his continued existence. He lacks only the upright Victorian effigy.

Henry married Augusta Whittington in 1809 at fashionable St George’s, Hanover Square; they had five children, the youngest Emily born in 1820. Henry disapproved of Augusta’s parents who had broken their marriage vows and legally separated; he would not allow them to see their grandchildren. But the Wikipedia biographer writes “Raikes’s married life was happy”.

I had gone to the internet after transcribing a letter from Augusta written to her husband during a holiday at Worthing in August 1820. She is answering Henry who has written to express dissatisfaction with her as wife and mother; she doesn’t come up to the mark and the mark is quite a demanding one.

I am not the sort of person to amend a Wikipedia page but I offer Augusta in her own words, possibly dormant for two centuries since Henry added to the letter a business-like docketing note, “2d 22 July 1820”. I can do nothing about the imminent tragedies: before the end of 1820, baby Emily dies followed by her mother at the age of thirty-eight. Henry’s sister Charlotte took charge of the four surviving children and lived with her brother until her death a few months before his.

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Transcription

Addressed to:  The Revd Henry Raikes    Burnham   Maidenhead    Berks

Datelined:  Worthing   Tuesday

Docketing note: 2d   22 July 1820

I promised you to write today dear Henry and I will tho’ you will probably receive it only a few hours before I see you. I rejoice to hear all is well at home but feel too much occupied by the rest of your letter to dwell on anything besides. Tho’ you tell me you feel kindly tenderly for me there is apparent so much that you do not like, the whole line of my conduct seems so forcibly different from your wish, that my heart sinks & my mind is filled with alarm – you will start here and [say] that this is my way of taking your suggestions and that my pride revolts at being told I am wrong. Far from it. I wish to know how I stand tho’ mortified to find the truth, still I must be wrong but where to begin I know not. I look back to the last ten days and cannot believe that this alone could cause what you have written, besides unless I am most abismally blind to my own faults I really know not wherein I have been wrong except in not sooner seeking an explanation from you but you perpetually foiled the question  by expressions & looks of returning confidence & kindness and I have trusted all would again be harmonious without any scene, and ignorant & blind as I may be, believed at least that I speak the truth when I say that I felt you alone were in fault and from delicacy hesitated to press you at a time when I knew you were so much harassed & occupied with other things.

Little could I imagine it was not the events of the moment that were causing you anxiety but a review of what I should have called our past happy life – that while I dreamt of peace & confidence you were lamenting that your poor Augusta was not the wife, was not the Mother, you desired.

Once more I must refer to your own words you say “if we are not taking pains to please we are growing indifferent, & indifference is dangerous for it is the very opposite of love”. I deny the charge altogether. I first awakened your displeasure by my disappointment in not having you on this journey, was this indifference? Had I been indifferent should I have cared. But it has ever been my misfortune to be supposed to feel less than others. Happy would it have been for me had it been so. You tell me again that you show more love for me by urging me to exertions that are disagreeable but which will make me valuable to others & precious to you, than you would by allowing me to pursue a path that must ultimately separate our feelings from each other. Here dearest Henry I am utterly at a loss to conceive your meaning, what path am I pursuing, how am I acting, that the return to your wishes & the hope of becoming valuable should be disagreeable to me.

I am little able to speak with you, much less able to write, but I would feign exculpate myself from any intentional wrong. My time & thoughts are devoted exclusively to my family & that alone is sufficiently large to occupy & interest a more enlarged mind than my own. Accomplishments I never boasted when you thought I could make you happy; but our awakened spiritual turn of mind I heartily desire and constantly pray for. Here do I fall infinitely below you & your helping hand is wanted. Look with tenderness on me who was not blessed like yourself with Religious parents anxious to lead you in the path to Heaven but who caught all serious impressions as it were by chance and tho’ I am far from thinking that any excuse for the want of spiritual disposition now when I am capable of knowing How & where to seek after those things which are alone necessary yet the early impressions & regularly formed religious habits in which you were bred will ever be wanting and make my path more difficult, but do not think I value them less -  no on the contrary I covet them for my children beyond measure & would not for the worlds neglect to instil into them that which I hourly feel to be so essential & so wanting in myself. 

I have filled my paper & have in some degree relieved my own heart tho’ it is impossible to feel happy until I am again at home & I could say restored to your love but that cannot be yet in full confidence for your opinions cannot change suddenly tho’ the kindness of your heart may lead you to promise me peace.

Henry is very well today but he suffered sadly yesterday & indeed all the night before with the tooth-ache which ended in a very large swelling in his mouth which broke before he went to bed & greatly relieved him.

We were at Church on Sunday & Mr Irwin preached - but I have not seen Monck nor indeed anyone. The coach goes from here at 10 so I shall be set down at Burford Bridge at about 3 o’clock on Thursday. The carriage came last night. Do not forget my shawl for I have nothing for the Tilbury [an open carriage].

And now God bless you my dearest Henry your dear Boy remembers you with the tenderest affection as does your wife tho’ at the moment you will not readily believe it yet have patience with a creature full of faults but whose heart at least is right & earnest in desiring your friendship and believe that I am

Yr affectionate AR

Endnotes

Wikipedia: Henry Raikes (1782–1854) was an English cleric…

Rev Chancellor Raikes reproduced under Creative Commons from his Wikipedia page


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